I'd like to know how have you accepted your condition at such a young age? Do you believe in god? How have you spiritually evolved over the years with your illness? I'd like to know how you feel when your friends get married/babies & you are ill? I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey.
I think what I’m going to say first might sound a little odd but when it comes with accepting being ill, especially when I was so young, I didn’t have a choice. I could have been angry, upset, sad and spent time feeling sorry for myself but I strongly believe that life is exactly what we make it. We choose how we live and how we feel and how we view the world so to me the only way to live is with a positive outlook and a happy heart. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel a little down sometimes because I do but for the most part I understand that I am exactly who I am meant to be and I am exactly where I am meant to be.
I think that getting sick, as hard as it can be sometimes, was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I was given a new outlook on life, one that showed me what life is all about and how I should be living. It gave me the opportunity to know what is most important in life. I focus on the big picture and focus my attention on family, love, light, kindness and joy. Those are the things that matter and getting sick allowed me to see that.
It’s allowed me to have an open heart, one that is compassionate and caring. Not that I wasn’t those things before but getting sick has made me a better person. I see the world and the people around me in a much different way. I’m very grateful for the lessons I have learned. I think I’ll do an entire post about this soon.
Religion isn’t something I would normally talk about but since I was asked about it I will. I am not a religious person, nor have I ever been one. I’m not really sure what I believe in; although, I do believe in something but I don’t necessarily believe in God or the traditional views of heaven and hell. I respect all religious views, however, and I find theology to be very interesting. I know a lot of people who are ill and take comfort in religion, but I’m not one of them.
As for how I feel about my friends getting married and having children, which is a great question! I was never that little girl who dreamed about my wedding and I didn’t grow up being a woman who ever even wanted to get married. I also do not want children, not that I could have any if I ever decided I wanted to. I do not have traditional views when it comes to marriage so when my friends get married or start their families I don’t feel jealous or upset that I’m not able to do that myself. I don’t think it’s fair, in any situation, for us to compare ourselves or the paths we are on to other people or the paths they’ve embarked on. We are who we are and that is good enough. If I was meant to be married or have children that I would be married and have children. You know what I mean? I am where I am meant to be and I’m okay with it. I will admit that when I first got sick I didn’t feel like I measured up to other people my age but all of those worries have floated away and I’m perfectly content with my life.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t sick, but I am so I’m okay with it.