Meet the Cats

Losing Parker was one of the hardest things I have experienced in my 27 years of life. I loved him with all of my heart, and I still do. I miss him each and every day. I still hope that he is alive somewhere out there in the world and that one day he finds his way back to me but I'm afraid that is no longer a possibly. We, as a family, also lost our beloved Sebastian after 15 years of love, friendship, and loyalty. This summer was tough because we had to do it without our beautiful fur babies.

We are a family full of animal lovers though and we knew our family was no longer complete. On July 30th we decided it was time to start considering getting a new cat so we headed for the local animal shelter expecting nothing more than to look at the cats. Instead, we met MoMo and fell in love. He went home with us the next day, although we changed his name to Finnegan James or Finn.



Finn stole our heart by being an absolute cuddle bug. We brought him home and our relationship with him was slow to build but now he is a very important and loved member of the family. We aren't sure about his past life or what he went through before becoming a Harris but he has come to realize that this is his home and we are his family. He's a sweetheart who loves nothing more than to be held like a baby, upside down and cradled in our arms. He is very vocal and likes to talk. He is also very independent and loves dividing his time between the great outdoors and our home.

He is one of the most stunning and beautiful cats I have ever seen. He's a very unique buff color and has amber colored eyes. He is a year old and lean, tall, and very muscular.

On the 15h of September we added another furry little face to our family. My parents could tell that my heart was still hurting from not having Parker in my life anymore so they decided to do an internet search for Turkish Van Rescues. Without any luck they ended up, on accident, at a local cat rescue website where they found a picture of a 5 month old Van named Harpo. My Dad and I went to the rescue place the very next day.

I can't even begin to describe how cool this place we went to was. It was a big room full of cat furniture with 40 or so cats. We went and sat down and were mauled by kittens and cats climbing all over us and each other to receive a little affection. We had SO much fun. I don't think either of us have ever smiled more or had more fun. Anyway, back to the story. The moment I sat down a little boy, Harpos brother Harper, came and sat on my lap and gave me so much love and affection. He ended up picking me and Harper went home with us.



Harper is now named Hunter. Hunter Parker Harris to be exact. He's a 5 month old who looks and acts so much like Parker, but he is not a replacement. He is absolutely in love with me and I am with him. He refuses to be away from me for long and likes to kiss, cuddle, and snuggle. He's an absolute sweetheart and is such a mamas boy! He's very calm and lovey. He has only been with us for 8 days but he is already so loved. I hope Parker gets to meet him one day because I think he would really enjoy having a mini me.

Cooper and the cats aren't friends yet, nor are the cats friends with each other but no one seems to hate each other yet either. I have high hopes that they will all soon be very close.



Would you like if I shared photos of them once a week on the blog Facebook page?

End of Summer Catch Up

I have received a couple of really thoughtful messages from readers in the past couple of months and I just want to say that I am so thankful for the kind words. I am grateful to have all of you here on BYDLS and I want you to know that I would love to hear your stories as well. Just because I started this blog as an outlet for me to share my story and talk about the ups and downs of living with a chronic illness doesn't mean this blog has to be all about me. I would love to interact with you all, personally, on the Facebook page or in the comments section. We don't have to be sick and alone. I know you're all hear for me and you should know that I am here for you as well.

With that being said I want to do a little update post. If you follow BYDLS on Facebook you probably saw my "time off" post. I received some terrible news about the disappearance of Parker and it sent me into a tail spin. Fortunately it turned out to be a misunderstanding but it broke my heart into a million more little pieces and I essentially shut down. While he is still missing I am slowly healing, although I know I will miss him for the rest of my life.

Health wise, it's the same old story. I was actually feeling alright for a little while but I'm back to not doing all that great. I'm so exhausted all of the time and can never seem to get enough rest. I'm also always riding this weird line of being really sick and being okay. I mean, I'm always ill, but I seem to flip flop between coming down the flu and then being okay. My status can change by the hour and it makes life really difficult. I never know what to expect. Right now I'm feeling drained, I am so sore my skin even hurts, and my glands are swollen and tender. Oh, did I mention that I've been dealing with a kidney infection?

I have had chronic nose bleeds since I was 11 years old. I'm not really sure what the deal with that is but they haven't stopped. I have been dealing with an average of 2 bloody noses a day for the past few weeks. It's not very fun. I should really go to the doctor and have them cauterize me but that sounds absolutely dreadful and I think I would rather deal with the gushing nose bleeds instead.

I don't think I have mentioned that fact that I think I am fully recovered from the hell that Cymbalta, and Cymbalta withdrawal, put my body and mind through. I finally feel 100% myself again and life is so much better than it was a few months ago. I cannot believe what that drug did to me and how long it had a hold of me. It reminded me though that I am strong enough to make it through anything. I'm so glad I kept fighting through the darkest of those days and I am now free again.

What else is new? Well, I guess I failed at sharing my life with you all over the summer. The loss of 2 of my beloved furry family members made this summer a difficult one but I was lucky enough to get to travel around the state with my wonderful Parents and for that I am so grateful. We went on 2 coast vacations, 1 camping trip, and countless day trips. Up until the past year we haven't been able to travel as much as we would like so getting to go on so many adventures this summer was really awesome. I plan on doing a separate post about the trips we took with lots of pictures included but here is one photo from our Neport, OR vacation. Cooper went with us and loved the coast!




I also spent a lot of time in the pool (although I'm sad because it's too cold to float around now), read some good books, watched a lot of movies and binged on One Tree Hill (also sad about this one because I finished last night).

The weather is changing here and although I prefer to feel the sun warming my bones I am excited about the colder months. There is something really beautiful and special about fall. It's such a cozy season and I love to snuggle up under a soft blanket and read a good book. Not looking forward to winter though. I can't pretend I like snow. I don't. I don't like snow even a little bit.

Oh goodness, I just realized that I never introduced you to Finn. I did on Facebook so if you're following me there you already know about him but if you're not then you don't know about the sweet little buff Tabby cat we adopted from the local animal shelter in July. I promise I'll do a post all about him soon! Here is a photo of Finn:







I guess that's all I have to share for right now. Sorry for the excessive rambling in this post. I'll start getting my vacation and Finn posts ready so one of those will be up next. Also, I was thinking… would you like me to do a Q&A? If you have any questions for me, about me or my life personally or about my illness please feel free to ask. If I have several to answer then I might do a post but if I only get one or two then I will answer them on Facebook. Let me know what you think!

Oh, one last thing. I would love to know what you have been up to so feel free to share your update in the comments (sorry about the captcha!) or on Facebook. See you all soon!

Parker

I was a 19-year-old college student living away from home, my parents, and my pets for the first time when Parker became a part of my life in December of 2006. He was 7-months-old and came from a bad situation in which he was starved, abused, and locked in a bathroom. Naturally he had some bad habits but we all would if we had been forced to live in such awful conditions. The moment I met him I fell in love but the sweet little kitten I loved from moment one vanished and he became quite the handful. We had our ups and downs during out first year together but he was my fur child, my son and he grew to be such a huge and important piece of the puzzle that makes me who I am. He went from little hellion to perfect cat and made my life better each and every day he graced me with his love. There was no doubt in either of our minds that I was his and he was mine.



I don't know where he is now. All I can do is hope and pray that he is alive and uninjured, choosing to believe that someone has taken him into his or her home or trapped him somewhere he can't get out of. We spent 8 years together and in that time we went through so much. I leaned on him through good times and bad. I loved him with all of my heart. He brought me so much joy and love and affection. I know there are people out there who don't truly understand and think that "he's just a cat" or "a pet is just an animal" but Parker wasn't my pet. He wasn't just an animal. He was family.



I've experienced loss before but having an old, sick loved one pass on is difficult but not knowing what happened makes it even harder. I have lost my son, my parents have lost their Grandchild, and Cooper has lost his brother and best friend. It's unbearable and I don't think I will ever get over the pain or losing Parker.

May Update

I'm sorry that I have (temporarily, hopefully) lost interest in this blog, but I have been posting on Facebook but I know that not all of you are on Facebook so I thought it would be a good time to write a little update post.

2014 has been a rough year so far. Things are really starting to look up though.

I hit rock bottom in regards to my Cymbalta withdrawal and have slowly but steadily crawling out of the hole that it left me in. I was doing some more research and I found that for some people it can take up to a year after quitting to get back to normal. There were some pretty dark days in my life since I last posted but it's getting better. I'm not back to the Kassie that I was before I went on the devil drug but I'm getting there.

I quit the rest of my medications too. All of them, with the exception of my rx folic acid (because one of the meds I was on, Methorexate, made my hair fall out and the folic acid is supposed to help so I'm not quitting it until my hair gets better) and vitamin D. I realized that I wasn't any better with the meds than I was before I started taking any so I would much rather be unwell and unmedicated than unwell and overmedicated. It seems like the right decision. When I posted that I quit all my meds on the BYDLS Facebook page I said I hadn't experienced any side effects or withdrawal but I lied. I have been in more pain and had a lot more swelling but it's nothing that I can't deal with.

I got approved for disability, which is such happy and amazing news. I know I've been disabled since 2009 and my friends and family know but it's nice to have that affirmation from the government, especially since they're notorious for being tough on people who apply. Does that even make any sense? It's just nice and reassuring. It's also a huge relief to be able to pitch in so my parents don't have to carry the financial burden alone. Money isn't everything but it sure is nice.

The final news I want to share is that my dog, Sebastian, died on the 10th of May. It's been incredibly difficult to deal with for my entire family, Cooper and Parker included. He was 15 years old and such a special and integral member of the family. He was only 5 weeks old when we made him part of our family in 1999. We all remember the day perfectly – we drove from Naples to Stuart (we lived in Florida at the time) and picked him out of the entire litter. He was the runt. He had been through so much in his life - being hit by a car, losing an eye, going blind in the other, and having lymphoma but none of that stopped him from being amazing. He was my little brother and I miss him deeply every single day. Obviously as time passes it gets easier to deal with loss but it hits me so hard every once in a while. I loved him very much.



That's really all I have to share at this time. Oh, wait. I bought a bed. That's big news. I've had the same bed since 1999 (also from Florida) and it was time for a new one. I have trouble sleeping but since sleep is so important to chronically ill people I decided to invest in one. All of the salespeople tried to talk me into getting at least a Queen but I sleep in a little tiny ball with a cat curled up in a little tiny ball on my feet so a Full is all I need. It cost $900! Does anyone else think that's totally nuts?!

Burney Falls Happies

I have been fortunate to travel around the country quite a lot during my 27 years of life and have been to many spectacular places. Yesterday, my family and I spent the day at Burney Falls in California and I think it now tops my list of beautiful places. There is nothing more rejuvenating than spending the day taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of nature – especially when it's in a place as beautiful as I was yesterday!

We started the day by driving down to Dusmuir, CA and having brunch at our favorite little café called the Cornerstone Bakery and Café. We have been there twice now and we have really enjoyed both times. If you're ever in the are I highly recommend you stop in for a meal. We then got back in the car and headed for the falls. A local told us to stop at a different falls that was on the way first (I don't remember what they were called) but we did and they were really nice but not nearly as breathtaking as what we would later see. Burney Falls – well, I think I'll just let the photos do the talking. So beautiful!







We did the 1.3 mile "hike" around the falls and even though it was a bit strenuous we had a really lovely time. When you are down at the bottom of the falls you can feel the mist hitting your skin and it is such a wonderful feeling! I wish I lived closer because I would go there every single day to walk around, take in the sights, and get in some exercise.



I don't know why I feel the need to share this story but there was a man who walked by me with a huge cockroach on his shoulder and it was SO creepy! I thought maybe it had fallen on to his shoulder while he was standing under a tree or something but it turns out he had a bag full of them. Who has a pet cockroach that you take to state parks?! LOL!

After spending several hours at the falls we then headed into the town of Burney. We were starving again and nothing was open, since it was Easter, so we had to eat at McDonalds – gag! Do you know how hard it is to eat at McDonalds when you're a vegetarian?

We headed home after lunch and the drive was really nice. On the home way we also stopped in McCloud and drove around for a few minutes. They have a lot of really nice historical buildings. I loved being able to watch Shasta as we drove. I'm so in love with the mountain. Is that a weird thing to say? It's just so beautiful.

I love nothing more than spending time with my family, besides maybe spending time with my family exploring nature. I had a fantastic time and I suggest if you're anywhere near Burney Falls that you go and check them out when you can!

Oh, and just since this is supposed to be a "weekly" recap I'll tell you the other things that I did - on Thursday my Dad and I went to Medford for an appointment and did a little shopping. We got along well and had a fine time. On Friday the family went to see the spring play at the school where my Mom teaches. It was called "Cow Tippin" and it was hilarious! It was a good week for me and I hope it was for you as well!

Here are a few more photos from the day: